Goemon treats us to another hilarious edition of “I Am the Lord of Ultima”. Enjoy!
I Am the Lord of Ultima (Well, not yet)
– by Goemon
I got scouted by someone that goes by the name of Gankster this week. You read that right, not Gangster but Gankster. See, it’s a play on words. If you’re a dedicated enough gamer to be browsing a blog on the topic, you probably know what the word “Gank” means. More than likely it struck fear directly into your heart. If, somehow, you missed this term in your online gaming career, allow me to elaborate. Basically, to gank means to kill someone that doesn’t stand any chance against you. Usually very quickly, and often unexpectedly. This is a term exclusive to multiplayer games, by the way. For example: in just about any PvP MMORPG, if a very high level player jumps out of the digital bushes and kills a newbie instantly with a high level spell, this is the prime example of a gank. Another example: say you’re playing an online FPS. You shoot your opponent down to 2 hp, and you’re about to finish him off, when all of the sudden BAM! Your teammate comes out of left field, shoots the guy once, and gets credit (and points) for the kill. Perfect gank scenario.
So to recap:
ga – nk (noun) – 1. To kill a severely disadvantaged player in an MMO
2. To steal something in game that wasn’t rightfully yours (i.e. a kill)
In Lord of Ultima, or many other OSGs for that matter, ganking is a pretty easy thing to do. Sure, developers have started to implement some newbie defenses like grace periods and Lord of Ultima’s castle system. But once you get past these things, what happens? Take me for instance. I am well past the grace period and have a sweet castle. But my city and army size is nothing compared to this Gankster character. I’m sitting on around 10,000 compared to his six figure score. Now, Lord of Ultima does boost the weaker player’s stats if he is attacked as another form of protection against ganking, but that only goes so far.
But here’s the thing: I’m a firm believer that it’s all part of the game. Sure, I can’t really gank anyone around me. But if I was in a position to do so, I feel like I probably would- let’s be honest, it’s kind of hilarious. Even the word itself is hilarious. Come on, say it out loud. Gank. Funny, right? Of course, all he’s done so far is scout me. And I slaughtered his scouts. Maybe that will send him enough of a warning.
Moving past Gankster. I accomplished something huge this past week- I successfully conquered a town. No wait, make that a city. Actually, I conquered an entire EMPIRE. Alright, maybe it was just a city. However, I effectively doubled my entire score with this strategic coup d’etat. And it wasn’t even a gank either- the city was just sitting there, and all I had to do was send good ol’ Sean Connery (read: a baron) over there to settle it. Not only did it double my score, but it gave me a mass of resources to spend on troops as well. Plus, it’s in a rather strategic location that opened up some new territory for me to settle in.
All in all, it was probably the most successful thing I’ve ever done in the game- and also one of the easiest. But it all felt too easy. Was this town rightfully mine? Was it…ganked? Does this make me a horrible person? These are intense philosophical questions I now need to ask myself. Who knew Lord of Ultima could be so deep.
Also please everyone, note my use of the unoffensive term “newbie” instead of the derogatory “noob.” I’m not trying to sound like a jerk here.